I've written a lot about the lessons I am learning at the University of Skid Row — this place, this neighborhood, this surreal campus where I find myself climbing back up, hopeful of regaining a life I once knew.
I got here thanks to some trouble of my own making. I suffered some injustice along the way, some punishment that says I did something that I did not do.
None of that is important compared to the crime I truly commited when I robbed my mother of her feelings, hopes and dreams. Sure, I restored what I could. Yes, she said to me "Walter, you matured right in front of my eyes."
But how much pain and suffering did she have to endure before I finally turned the corner to reach toward life instead of heading toward certain death?
A difficult question to face, let alone answer, when you're living in Skid Row, a place where many African-American men such as myself have plenty of stories about trouble of their own making compounded by injustice and overly severe punishment. There are plenty of circusmstances to obscure the key questions about self.
Yet I have learned a lot of lessons here, many prompted by the daily circumstances of Skid Row. I have also realized that some of the lessons come because my journey through Skid Rown leads me to remember old learnings.
I recall what my father told me the night before I entered prep school:
"Walter, no matter what someone says to you or asks you, do not ever jump to the conclusion that he is a bigot. It may seem on the surface as such. However, you do not have perfect information. That takes time. Many things go into a person's point of view, and most of them happen before they are born. So if they say something and ask something it might be because they are seeking your opinion and feedback. They come to you because they perceive you as being open and receptive enough to allow them to risk vulnerability, revealing their doubts, questions and fears."
He went on:
"If you feel you have 10 reasons to conclude something, wait for another five. Upon reaching 15 reasons, wait for fifteen more. And even after that, endure the challenge of learning the truth rather than the convenience of believing you are right and risking the chance of being prematurely and irreparably wrong."
I have made a conscious decision to recall and honor my father's wisdom even though it would be easy to to swim in a lake of denial here in Skid Row. My father reminds me that denying the truth hinders growth.
My father's wisdom has proved true, and roots of understanding have been digging deeper into my soul, producing the blossoms of discovery and a lightness in spirit and an inner peace that has enabled me to climb and see what I could no longer see when I first found myself in Skid Row.
Walter Melton is a writer for the L.A. Garment & Citizen.
Visit Walter Melton's blog at www.scribeskidrow.blogspot.com.
Collage by LA Beez
Leave a comment