More Than Shelter

I lived in a 100-bed homeless shelter when I first arrived to this curious campus in the heart of Los Angeles. Then I move to a room that overlooked one of the filthiest, drug-infested streets in Skid Row, which was an improvement, nontheless. Now I have a modest room on one of the quieter streets in Skid Row. The relative peace and quite offers me much more than shelter.

This is crucial to me because the quiet — the lack of a constant soundtrack playing the themes of the miseries on the streets — allows me to really zero in on my independent studies here at the University of Skid Row. It has helped me gain a new understanding of the connections of my actions. From there I have searched to find creative ways of understanding even more. These efforts and the energy they require have combined to pave the way for further research and growth.

I now know that the more I learn about how my actions have hurt me and others, the more I am free to walk away from the past and stride with growing confidence toward the future.

I can now understand how being self abusive leads to indirect and unintended disregard for relationships with others. It has become increasingly clear why this independent study here at my strange campus, this latest stage at the University of Skid Row, is so vital and fulfilling. The peace and confidence I gain from recognizing the truth frees me from blame and resentments. It opens up the channels for new growth, new study, and facilitates a completely fresh start in life, free from as much emotional baggage as is knowingly possible.

As you can see, my friends, this personal growth and development is as important — perhaps more so — than the outcome of the pending court hearing that might reverse the burden that comes with a felony conviction. It is more important than this new opportunity to write and share with you. It is more important because I had to accept full responsibility for the events of my life in order take full advantage of the chance to speak to you, to tell you my story. How else could I write about the need to seek the objective truth and self honesty. My credibility would have forever been in doubt — and rightfully so.

Perhaps the reasons that I refer to this hard-pressed patch of cityscape as the University of Skid Row are becoming more clear to you. Everyone and everything is a case study here. Each case study is unique — and mine has been no exception. Each person's research process has its own unique labyrinth. Few, if any, of my fellow denizens have a background quite similar to mine. I fell farther than most — all the way from the Ivy League. This has made my emotional hardships tougher to handle in many ways, but it has helped in others, providing an aid in navigating my way to this story that I share with you each week.

Through all of this I know one thing to be trae: You do not simply leave Skid Row. You must grow out of it. You gravitate towards something else. You lift yourself out. Try to simply leave Skid Row and you'll find that Skid Row has not left you. It's the difference between graduating with bachelor's degree and getting pushed along with a GED.

I intend to get my degree.

Continue on the path with me next week.

Walter Melton is a writer for the L.A. Garment & Citizen.

Photo by LA Beez