Mothers never expect to bury their children — yet it happens.
And when it does, there is a hole in their hearts, sometimes as big as the Grand Canyon. Moving past the pain is a daunting prospect, to say the least.
After the death of a child, how does one find consolation?
That issue is addressed in the documentary "Motherland," which follows six American mothers as they travel on a 17-day humanitarian mission to help AIDS orphans in Oudtshoorn, South Africa, in an attempt to find comfort and understanding in their own grief. "Motherland" is an honest and emotionally draining trek through a mother's pain as she goes through the grieving process.
Director Jennifer Steinman, in her debut feature, gives each mother a spotlight to talk about her son or daughter, how they died and its reverberating impact. One by one, the women — Mary Helena, Kathy Jimenez, Anne Magill, Barbara Crandall, Lauren Warner (who went in place of her mother) and Debbi Berto — spill their guts before a camera, reliving their darkest moments.
One woman finds solace in not having to mask her true feelings around women who "understand" what she's going through. Another (Magill) bemoans her 15-year-old daughter's suicide.
"I don't know what I'm going to do with my life," said Magill, who co-produced the documentary. "I'm so lost."
Helena's 23-year-old son, Aaron, was shot in a parking lot. Seemingly the most introverted of the bunch, Helena took her son's ashes to South Africa to be strewn.
"You finally made it to South Africa," she said standing on a hill overlooking a township.
Whatever the cause of death — three of the children died in traffic accidents, and there was one other murder — the women mourn candidly and unabashedly about a pain they have accepted that will accompany them through their life's journey. For some, it's brought their lives to a halt.
"It's indescribable," Magill said about losing a child. "I'm not the person I was."
Witnessing these women's agony is not easy, but it's a stark reminder of how fragile life and death are.
None of the women featured are of the mind that the trip will somehow heal them from their grief. In fact, one woman readily admitted she didn't feel any better than she did before she came on the trip. However, she was also not ready to go home.
Working in a teeming day-care center with orphans whose villages and families have been affected by HIV, poverty, and famine had at least kept her mind from totally focusing on her own sadness. So did volunteering at a home for special-needs children.
Steinman's affecting, no-frills documentary is well-done. The women's individual stories, accompanied by photos of their deceased loved ones, are heart-wrenching. The footage of the women mingling, hugging, teaching, rocking, feeding and dancing with the children is just as emotional as the footage of their pain.
Watching the children wait in line to be held says it all. The looks of happiness on the faces of the orphans who just want to be loved are priceless.
"Motherland" is currently available via the Gigantic Digital Streaming Service (www.giganticdigital.com). Running time: 80 minutes. Steinman also co-produced and co-edited the project.
On the Donloe Scale, D (don't bother), O (oh, no), N (needs work), L (likable), O (Outstanding) and E (exquisite), "Motherland" gets an O (Outstanding).
Related info:
* Motherland
Darlene Donloe is a writer for the L.A. Watts Times.
Photos from Motherland website
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